From the
Upper Deck
Passing out
Candy Canes And Coals
By Jim Steele
steele@mckenziebanner.com |
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Greetings from high atop Mt. Krumpet. Your (not so)
loveable sports Grinch returns to haunt yet another
season.Sorry, I'm not going to bother to rhyme.
Thanks to Michael Myers and Jim Carrey, it has been done
to death (obvious motion picture references to recent
movies involving song and verse from the inimitable
Seuss).
So my dog Max and I will sit here and pen a letter to
ol' St. Nick. I'll give Santa the real heads up on who's
been naughty and nice. Never mind little Cindy Lou Who
(who is no more than 2); I'll give you the real lowdown.
So here it goes. Let's see who gets the candy canes
and let's see who gets the coals and switches this year.
Dear Santa:
How is it going? Offer the missus the best for me.
It's been another year and yes, I'll dispense with the
small talk and platitudes. Just remember, consume only
the cookies and milk under the tree, not the nachos and
the beverages concocted in St. Louis. Remember, I'll be
checking my fridge when I wake up Christmas morning.
Anyway, here's my wish list. Please send:
* A candy cane to Huntingdon High School. The
Mustangs and Fillies were quite busy this year, winning
a junior high basketball title and a high school
football title. In addition, the Fillies were
semifinalists in the state basketball tournament this
year and in the final six in softball. Not bad.
* A coal and switch to those all-state voters who
snubbed West Tennessee athletes who took part in Class
2A or lower. For some reason, we were told that some
all-state voters were "too busy" to do it right. This
just in: we're sports people; this time of year, we're
ALL busy.
* A candy cane to the sports writers association for
getting it right. They diligently go over athletes from
each class and have credible input from sports writers
from all areas in all three Grand Divisions of
Tennessee. Somehow, in this time when we seem to be too
busy, this group has shown that it indeed can be
bothered to put forth an effort.
* A coal and multitude of switches to the
less-than-straightforward folks at Marshall County who
forced McKenzie into an uncomfortable situation in the
substate softball round last year. Those folks refused
to work with MHS on changing the date (McKenzie had
graduation the night of the game). Then claimed, when
asked, that McKenzie made no attempt to seek a change.
As a result, Marshall Co. finessed its way to a spot in
the state tournament by beating a watered down McKenzie
team.
*Speaking of the Lady Rebels, offer them a candy cane
for reaching substate in 2A girls' basketball and
softball. We have some kids who have a lot of heart,
soul and determination. Perhaps an extra candy cane for
the softball girls, who showed a lot of courage in a
profane situation. I mentioned that I was never more
proud to wear the red and gray that day.
* A big fat piece of coal to some of the moronic
officials that Huntingdon and McKenzie had to face in
football this year. Not all of them were bad, but those
that were stood out like the Dixie Chicks at the
Republican National Convention. Having perused sidelines
for 16 straight Friday nights this season, I was
flummoxed by some of the rules interpretations I heard.
Thankfully, I'm not a coach. Imagine what kind of hair
loss I'd suffer if I were (see my other wish list,
Santa).
* A candy cane goes to the McKenzie Rebel football
team for providing excitement and electricity throughout
the community. They were record-setters and fun to
watch. And I'm glad to see that bowing out in the second
round of the playoffs was disappointing to both team and
fans. That means a high standard has been set.
* Another candy cane goes to the West Carroll
football team for capturing a regional title. It seemed
that 41 was a favorite number of the War Eagles because
the seemed to put that many points on the board every
week. It's a shame they ran into a Trinity team that was
perhaps the best that school has fielded.
* One more goes to the Hollow Rock-Bruceton Central
Tigers, who suffered a 2-8 season. That bunch could have
folded the tents, but the team played hard until the end
and finished the season on a winning note. To know the
good, sometimes you have to experience the lean times
every so often. Rest assured, this bunch will be back.
* Leave a soggy lump of coal on the desk of Tennessee
coach Phillip Fulmer. His Vols, though 10-2, have limped
through a season of hollow victories, save the Miami
game. But Miami isn't what it once was as several teams
have shown. This team is not a very good team and may
very well get killed by Clemson in the Peach Bowl.
* But leave a candy cane next to that coal for the
Vols, who despite blowing it this year in two winnable
SEC games, regrouped to finish with 10 wins. That shows
that this team had what last year's team seemed to lack:
character.
* A big lump of coal has to go to the BCS. You have
the top-ranked team in both wire service polls not
playing in the championship? What is up with that? For a
change, I'm going to be a Southern Cal fan next week.
It's time for a playoff.
* Give a big candy cane to our service men and women,
past and present, for being guardians of our great
nation. It is because of them that I am able to
propagate my nonsense each week.
* Give a huge, smelly lump of coal to those who use
the liberty we enjoy to run down our country, and those
like-minded folks who believe it's better to coddle and
engage rather than take down the pipsqueaks and despots
of the world.
Okay, Santa, that about does it. Have a safe trip and
we'll do this again next year. Say hello to the tooth
fairy, Easter Bunny and The Great Pumpkin for me. Ho ho
ho...
Your Sports Grinch
Remember, try to do something nice for someone else
that might be in need this holiday season and extend
that kindness through the year. Merry Christmas and
Happy New Year. |
